Seciah and me

Hi! I´m James. Currently, I live in the beautiful country of Costa Rica with my wife and my amazing son. I Jesus, running, playing guitar, and spending time with my family. Thanks for stopping by.

What’s the point of this site?

I decided to create this site because I want to help husbands become better at, well, being a husband! I want to provide you with creative, helpful, and informative blog posts, courses (in the future!), and other good ideas to improve your marriage.

What’s with the name? Isn’t it “Happy wife happy life”? And doesn’t that have kind of a negative connotation to it?

Yes, I know, it’s a little strange. But, I’m quite certain that after reading this, you’ll agree with me. So, I first became interested in this phrase when a best man used it in his speech at the wedding I was attending.

Everyone always says it and it’s totally true: Happy wife, happy life!

He got a chuckle from everyone. I, however started thinking about it and quickly came to the conclusion that I didn’t like it. To me, that sounded something like:

  • Just make her happy so you’ll be happy
  • Just buy her ________ so she’ll stop whining
  • Just say, “Yes, honey” to get her off your back
  • etc.

I hated that. First of all, it sounded like the wife is always annoying. Second, the guy is the focus there. It’s not focusing on real happiness for the wife or a solid marriage. It’s mainly focusing on continuous temporary happiness to get her to stop fussing. And once again, whose “life” is it in the second half that is happy? The guy’s!

I asked someone I look up to what he thought about that phrase. His response surprised me. “Honestly, I don’t really see anything wrong with it.” After I asked why, he went on to explain that in his view, it seems like if the husband does everything possible to serve and love his wife, she will be happy, which will in turn make his life happy too. Win-win. Needless to say, I liked that idea of it much better than what most people think of when they hear it.

So, with my new outlook on the phrase, but still unhappy with the wording, I decided to change the name to because the lives puts the focus on both of you; NOT just the guy’s. It shows a little more sense of overall, long-lasting happiness instead of just quick, short-term satisfaction.

You look young. How can you be giving marriage advice?

Always a tough one in every crowd, eh? Yes, I’ve been married for only three years. But, this is a good thing! I am right now in the trenches figuring out what it takes to be a good husband. I can tell you my failures and successes right as they happen. See, there’s a positive!

Where should I get started?

Try checking out the blog posts. Comment on them. Let me know of anything you have an opinion on or are struggling to improve in your marriage. Have any good date ideas? I’d love to hear them. Just head over to the Contact Page to tell me.

Pura vida,